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To Own a Dog

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Think about this for a minute. What it is to have a dog, another species, for a friend.  A companion who will be there with you, day after day, asking little more than something to eat and a safe place to live.

I can take my dog’s leash off and know that she’ll return to me. She will chase critters, smell good smells, snack on fresh grass or play ball, but always with an eye on me.  When she is done with her most current adventure, we’ll go home together.

I can ask her to come to me and remain by my side, and she will choose to respond because it’s our habit to cooperate with each other, even though she has freedom to choose otherwise.  Yes, I trained these things but she does not follow my requests out of obedience.  She follows because it works for both of us, to live in harmony together.

My friendship with this dog affects other people as well. Walkers, cyclists, and equestrians all smile as we pass by. My dog’s joyful leaping and running infects other people with her happiness; a reminder of the pleasure of being curious and free.  I am gratified to realize the power I have to make another living creature so joyful as she bounces and runs on our way out.  Alone, it’s just a walk, but with my dog it’s our shared adventure.

And then I see people smile when we return.  Now my dog walks quietly at my side, keeping me company. Everyone is happy to see our companionship. Things feel right in the world when a person is out with their dog, together with friendship.

There is no comparison between a person walking alone and a person walking with a dog. I have all of the benefits of solitude; time to think and breathe, but none of the disadvantages of being alone. I am not alone.

Not all dogs are so beautifully balanced, but a lot of dogs are, or have the potential to be. How amazing this is, a species that is not considered rare or valuable – just a dog that we take for granted, willingly staying in our homes and by our side. Dogs are widely available; many people can have one, which means that you can go out and adopt or buy a friend. Think about that. You can adopt or buy a friend. Doesn’t even matter if you’re a nice person – you can still have a friend.

I put in some time to get to friendship, but that wasn’t work.  As with all relationships, part of the pleasure was finding ways to have both of our needs met.  I enjoyed her youthful silliness as well as the training time that gently helped mold her maturity.  And now, as my dog approaches her twelfth birthday, I marvel at the connection we’ve built with little more than the natural capacity of our species to fall in love with each other.

I can pet her soft fur, share a snack, or we can walk. I can work on my computer and she’ll be found asleep under my desk.  And when I go to bed for the night, I know she’ll sleep nearby.  She is always there, waiting for me, for the price of her name.

In exchange for a few meals, the occasional walk, and a hand on her head when she asks for attention, I have a friend.  Day after day, that’s all it takes for my dog, a different species, to choose me.  An animal living contentedly in my home and giving back to me in ways too numerous to count.  A bit of a miracle, really.

If everyone had a dog for a friend – not because they thought they should get a dog, or to do dog sports, or to guard the house, or because families have dogs – if people got a dog for a friend, and then learned to treat that dog as a friend, the world would be a very different place.  A kinder, warmer and better place.


About dfenzi

I'm a professional dog trainer who specializes in building relationship in dog handler teams who compete in dog sports. My personal passions are Competitive Obedience and no force (motivational) dog training. I travel throughout the world teaching seminars on topics related to Dog Obedience and Building Drives and Motivation. I own Fenzi Dog Sports Academy, a comprehensive online school for motivational training of performance sport dogs.

20 responses »

  1. Lucy Rasmussen

    Denise, this is such an insightful and moving post…on many different levels. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel about our pups!!!

  2. Love this. You really captured it. My dog is one of my best, favorite friends!

  3. lovely post Denise – one feels the amazing friendship and love you have for each other in your words thank you for writing 🙂

  4. What a wonderful post to wake up to. Thanks for sharing. Now, if only every dog owner could envision the same relationship with their dog. Yes, the world truly would be a better place.

  5. What a lovely well written tribute……. To the most amazing creature on earth…..


    Thank you.

  7. I work as a rescue volunteer and I wish everyone who gets a dog would feel this way. It’s a simple philosophy that works.

  8. What a fantastic post!

  9. Sent from my iPad


  10. Anne Moloney

    Denise these words say it all! Beautifully written and all so true!

  11. Marina Gates Fleming

    thank you Denise for writing such a lovely heart felt article – you obviously feel this very deeply and it comes out loud and clear in our writing – just wonderful thank you 🙂 Marina Gates Fleming TR IDTE Canine Consultant



    WEBSITE FACEBOOK WEBSHOP _____________________________________ Please don’t print this e-mail unless you really need to >

  12. Denise I’ve never commented here, and this was recommended to me by a friend. But you have brought tears to my eyes. I have a rescue Border Collie that is all of that and more. She isn’t my only dog, but she’s undoubtedly the best thing in my life, next to my wife. Which disclaimer is of course added lovingly, thank you.

  13. Diana Lungren

    I felt a little prickling in my eyes towards the end of your post Denise – beautifully said.
    I have had quite a few dogs over a 40 year period and they have all given me loyalty and affection and fun. So many “Best Friends”. How lucky am I.

  14. Great post loved it.

    Jil Jones

  15. This is so beautifully written – and true! I wish everybody would look at his/her dog as a friend. And how lucky am I having four best friends 🙂

  16. I love the time spent with my three Golden Retrievers on a ‘no strings attached’ walk…it helps me reconnect with myself and why I have dogs in the first place. Great post. I loved it. Angela

  17. Pingback: Celebrating dog friends – Just a Small Pup

  18. Pingback: My Friendship With This Dog – nala the wonder dog

  19. Reblogged this on Adopt An Oregon Dog! and commented:
    I’ve never reblogged another person’s post before, but this one is special. The last paragraph says it all.

  20. Reblogged this on Mush, Baby and commented:
    Look how lovely this is.


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