To Own a Dog

by Denise Fenzi | May 2, 2016 | Musings | 18 comments

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Think about this for a minute. What it is to have a dog, another species, for a friend.  A companion who will be there with you, day after day, asking little more than something to eat and a safe place to live. I can take my dog's leash off and know that she'll return to me. She will chase critters, smell good smells, snack on fresh grass or play ball, but always with an eye on me.  When she is done with her most current adventure, we'll go home together. I can ask her to come to me and remain by my side, and she will choose to respond because it's our habit to cooperate with each other, even though she has freedom to choose otherwise.  Yes, I trained these things but she does not follow my requests out of obedience.  She follows because it works for both of us, to live in harmony together. My friendship with this dog affects other people as well. Walkers, cyclists, and equestrians all smile as we pass by. My dog's joyful leaping and running infects other people with her happiness; a reminder of the pleasure of being curious and free.  I am gratified to realize the power I have to make another living creature so joyful as she bounces and runs on our way out.  Alone, it's just a walk, but with my dog it's our shared adventure. And then I see people smile when we return.  Now my dog walks quietly at my side, keeping me company. Everyone is happy to see our companionship. Things feel right in the world when a person is out with their dog, together with friendship. There is no comparison between a person walking alone and a person walking with a dog. I have all of the benefits of solitude; time to think and breathe, but none of the disadvantages of being alone. I am not alone. Not all dogs are so beautifully balanced, but a lot of dogs are, or have the potential to be. How amazing this is, a species that is not considered rare or valuable - just a dog that we take for granted, willingly staying in our homes and by our side. Dogs are widely available; many people can have one, which means that you can go out and adopt or buy a friend. Think about that. You can adopt or buy a friend. Doesn't even matter if you're a nice person - you can still have a friend. I put in some time to get to friendship, but that wasn't work.  As with all relationships, part of the pleasure was finding ways to have both of our needs met.  I enjoyed her youthful silliness as well as the training time that gently helped mold her maturity.  And now, as my dog approaches her twelfth birthday, I marvel at the connection we've built with little more than the natural capacity of our species to fall in love with each other. I can pet her soft fur, share a snack, or we can walk. I can work on my computer and she'll be found asleep under my desk.  And when I go to bed for the night, I know she'll sleep nearby.  She is always there, waiting for me, for the price of her name. In exchange for a few meals, the occasional walk, and a hand on her head when she asks for attention, I have a friend.  Day after day, that's all it takes for my dog, a different species, to choose me.  An animal living contentedly in my home and giving back to me in ways too numerous to count.  A bit of a miracle, really. If everyone had a dog for a friend - not because they thought they should get a dog, or to do dog sports, or to guard the house, or because families have dogs - if people got a dog for a friend, and then learned to treat that dog as a friend, the world would be a very different place.  A kinder, warmer and better place.  

18 Comments

  1. Lucy Rasmussen

    Denise, this is such an insightful and moving post…on many different levels. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel about our pups!!!

    Reply
  2. rolliepm

    Love this. You really captured it. My dog is one of my best, favorite friends!

    Reply
  3. marina

    lovely post Denise – one feels the amazing friendship and love you have for each other in your words thank you for writing 🙂

    Reply
  4. Faith

    What a wonderful post to wake up to. Thanks for sharing. Now, if only every dog owner could envision the same relationship with their dog. Yes, the world truly would be a better place.

    Reply
  5. Carol

    What a lovely well written tribute……. To the most amazing creature on earth…..

    Reply
  6. Anna

    BEAUTIFUL!!

    Thank you.

    Reply
  7. Susan Dill

    I work as a rescue volunteer and I wish everyone who gets a dog would feel this way. It’s a simple philosophy that works.

    Reply
  8. Susan Dill

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Reply
  9. Anne Moloney

    Denise these words say it all! Beautifully written and all so true!

    Reply
  10. Marina Gates Fleming

    thank you Denise for writing such a lovely heart felt article – you obviously feel this very deeply and it comes out loud and clear in our writing – just wonderful thank you 🙂 Marina Gates Fleming TR IDTE Canine Consultant

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    Reply
  11. Mel Bingham

    Denise I’ve never commented here, and this was recommended to me by a friend. But you have brought tears to my eyes. I have a rescue Border Collie that is all of that and more. She isn’t my only dog, but she’s undoubtedly the best thing in my life, next to my wife. Which disclaimer is of course added lovingly, thank you.

    Reply
  12. Diana Lungren

    I felt a little prickling in my eyes towards the end of your post Denise – beautifully said.
    I have had quite a few dogs over a 40 year period and they have all given me loyalty and affection and fun. So many “Best Friends”. How lucky am I.

    Reply
  13. Jil Jones

    Great post loved it.

    Jil Jones

    Reply
  14. Silke Capo

    This is so beautifully written – and true! I wish everybody would look at his/her dog as a friend. And how lucky am I having four best friends 🙂

    Reply
  15. Pawz 4 Thought

    I love the time spent with my three Golden Retrievers on a ‘no strings attached’ walk…it helps me reconnect with myself and why I have dogs in the first place. Great post. I loved it. Angela

    Reply
  16. adoptanoregondog

    Reblogged this on Adopt An Oregon Dog! and commented:
    I’ve never reblogged another person’s post before, but this one is special. The last paragraph says it all.

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Celebrating dog friends – Just a Small Pup - […] anyone who missed it, Denise Fenzi wrote a lovely post last week about having a dog for a friend…
  2. My Friendship With This Dog – nala the wonder dog - […] Denise Fenzi’s lovely meditation To Own a Dog, published last week, reminded me that I’ve been sitting on a…

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